Today, I’m thrilled to have a very special guest join us. It’s my dear friend Ruth from GraceLaced. She is truly one of the most hospitable women I know. That’s why I’m excited that she’s graciously offered to share a bit of her wisdom with us on how we can experience the joy of blessing others through practicing true hospitality!
Discovering the Heart of True Hospitality
by Ruth Simons, GraceLaced
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we live in a culture that loves to entertain, but rarely shows true hospitality. We pin endless links to great party ideas and beautiful photos of elegantly set tables and thematic dinners. I love all that. But, how daunting it must feel to read about hospitality in the Bible and have those images from Pinterest pop in your head.
Is that what hospitality looks like? What does it take to be hospitable?
What we think hospitality is:
• pressed linens
• home-cooked four-course meal
• spotless home
• fresh flowers
• matching dishes
• quiet children
What True Hospitality really is:
• sharing what you have
• sharing who you are
• involving your children in serving
• inviting others into your home
• inviting others into your real life
• being available when a need arises
What we have to believe to be truly hospitable:
• that we have to get over our pride
• that our sense of perfection is a lie
• that our possessiveness about personal time can be simply selfishness at times
• that we are hospitable unto the Lord and not for reciprocation or accolades
• that our provisions come from God, who owns everything
• that He gave to us for us to give generously
• that the most important thing we can share is not food or our home, but Christ, himself.
You see, hospitality is not about impressing or entertaining. As my wise mom-in-law shared with me in a Special Interview on Hospitality – True hospitality is about extending all that God’s given you…to another. I pray this encourages you to see hospitality in a new light – one that makes much of Christ and less of you.
How can you get started with being more hospitable? Here are a few simple suggestions:
• Hospitality isn’t limited to just dinnertime. It can also happen over a simple breakfast or lunch.
• Mid-mornings and mid-afternoons can also be a wonderful time to set aside for occasional get-togethers with other moms. Simply raid your pantry for dried fruit and nuts, and your fridge for cheese, to make a simple snack platter to share, along with a little spot of tea.
• Do you go to a Bible Study? Consider making an easy snack, and quickly picking up around the house before you leave, so that you can invite a new friend or two over after the study to get to know one another better.
• Surprise a single friend with a last-minute invite to join your family for dinner.
• Once a week, make an extra big batch of something super simple for dinner and offer to bring a meal to another family who may be having a difficult week.
Everything we do ultimately stems from our beliefs. Our theology defines our methodology. It is no different when it comes to hospitality. True Hospitality is a desire to bless, as you have been blessed. We don’t show hospitality to others simply because we have a new recipe to show off, a home that feels clean, or even a desire to help someone out. Our hospitality should flow from a heart that desires to honor and bless the Lord.
When He is our Guest of Honor, there is no end to the richness of our hospitality, or the fruit of what can become of simply opening our hearts and our homes to others.
Meet Ruth!
Ruth is the author of Gracelaced where she writes about finding grace in the everyday life. Her days are filled with 5 energetic boys, whom she homeschools part-time through the Classical school her husband heads and co-founded. She has recently transitioned out of her 10 year role as a Pastor’s wife through which she has consistently learned this marvelous truth that keeps her going each and every day: “The Lord is not through with us yet.”
Ruth, hospitality is my spiritual gift, but it used to be a nightmare for me. I wanted everything to be perfect. One night when we were first married, Peter said to me, “I don’ t think we should have any more people over. It makes you too stressed.” (and he was right!) My MIL taught me, “People come to see you, not your house.” In the last 20 years, I’ve grown to realize that hospitality is about serving others vs “image”–and that is why I loved this post so much. Hospitality: your home, a hospital, to heal, meet various physical and emotional needs, provide a safe haven, and to encourage others for the sake of Christ.
Thank you SO much, Sarah, for sharing these wise words with us! Such a blessing! 🙂
I used to get stressed out as well, Sarah. And that’s when I really started thinking about hospitality and how my desires were not aligned with his. I love getting to know bits of your heart better as we meet each other online! 🙂
Wonderful – my home is much messier than I would like but I need to get over it. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for leaving a kind note, Adrienne! I am such a neat-freak too and so I really am convicting by that point as well. 🙂
Great post! I love to have people to our home and bless them here. I’ve noticed recently (actually been told) that the clean home, multiple courses, special crafts for the kids, fresh flowers… While fun for the guests, keep them from inviting us OR OTHERS into their home! What a shame! I pray God gives me wisdom and discernment how to bless each person in just the right way that brings God the most Glory, while lighting a flame of hospitality in others.
That is such a GREAT point, Wendy! I have found that to also be the case in terms of the way we cook/eat. Sometimes people are afraid to come over here since some of these ingredients they’ve seen here may seem odd to them – LOL! And especially I find people worry about what to serve if they want to have us over. So I try to serve really simple dishes that are super easy and “normal” – like crockpot chili with rice and cornbread, or BBQ chicken with potato salad, etc.
As you so wisely point out, we want to make opening up our home and sharing a meal about the fellowship and not the food! So thank you SO much for bringing up this excellent point! I especially love your point that our example of true hospitality can really have a ripple-effect that will in turn bless many, many more to the glory of God. 🙂
I agree, Wendy. Sometimes, I unintentionally cause others to feel inadequate to host because I LOVE to bless through beauty and creativity. Everyone’s gifted so differently. However, I try to offset that impression by simply including my guests in the preparation of things, and allowing them into the reality of my life…not just what they see when they arrive, if it happens to be lovely.
amen! love it!
This is so true. WHen we lived in America, many times I would make an extra large lunch on Sundays and surprise a hungry family or single person over for lunch. We have very sweet memories from this and I loved seeing the pleased and happy looks of people that were wondering how they were going to get around the SUnday lunch crowd:) Now, we live on the mission field in Cambodia and it is not the same, but I am having to learn a new culture of hospitality! Thanks for your great, thoughtful post!
Visiting from Pint-sized Treasures
Thank you, Alison, for taking time to share your heart! May the Lord bless you in your work on His behalf in Cambodia!! Blessings, Kelly
I have just begun re-reading “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” by Joanna Weaver for the second time. This post was perfect to read in tandem. The busyness of service squashes the intimacy of service. The achievement of service denies us the companionship that comes from service. Our ability to serve others flows from an anointing from God. Anointing is received through intimacy with the Father. Thank you for this good word. Blessings to you, Ruth and Kelly.
Thank you so much, Brook, for taking the time to leave an inspiring note. The book you’re reading sounds wonderful. I need to go check that out. Lots of blessings to you! 🙂
Yes! I love these reminders that hospitality is not about impressing others. My hubby and I want to have others in our home frequently, and we have been doing fairly well at inviting folks over. But I still get so uptight in my spirit right before folks are due to arrive. “Did I miss anything? What will they think of my mantel? Will they like the ___? Does ____ look dumb?” I always feel like if something is wrong, and they notice, then they’ll think less of me. And I KNOW that’s not true, but it’s still the way my thoughts want to run. I definitely need reminders like this about the spirit of true hospitality. 🙂 I’m thankful for the growth God has given me so far in this area, and will be meditating on these things to continue to renew my mind to think like His!
Also, for what it’s worth, I find that I’m more easy-going about impromptu company than planned guests. When they’re planned, I feel like I knew far enough in advance that I should be able to have things presentable and put together. If it’s spur-of-the-moment, I know they know that I didn’t have time to fix anything, so then I don’t care what they think! So maybe I should do more spur-of-the-moment stuff 🙂 Oh, AND, if we have people over regularly, it’s much easier to get the house back to a state of “presentable” than if we only have them occasionally. 🙂
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and heart with us, Diana! I know you are not alone in what you express, we all struggle with these and other concerns about having people over. That’s why the more we do it (as you mentioned) the easier it becomes, because we start to see how the Lord is using this time for blessing. It really helps too when we realize everything we have belongs to HIM, so we are simply being good and faithful stewards when we use the resources He provides to us to minister to others. Blessings to you, Kelly 🙂
I really struggle with hospitality, probably because I really struggle with perfectionism. Love the reminder to share what God has given us!
Thanks, Lauren! I know many of us can relate to exactly what you’re saying. Thank goodness for God’s grace! 🙂
Our family loves having people over at our home… be it for coffee, dinner or just dessert. And I absolutely agree, it’s not about having the “perfect” everything but truly loving and serving your guests. We don’t have much but what God has blessed us with, we love to share with others. Sharing not only food but our lives with them has been a blessing to us. Thank you for this blog. May I share this blog on facebook?
Of course you can let your friends on FB know about this site and this post. And thank you for taking the time to leave a kind note – I appreciate your comment and totally agree! Thank you so much! Yes, Ruth really captures the heart of true hospitality and I am so blessed that she shared this with us all here. 🙂
So…thank you for this. It is a good reminder, but I am so not there. It is not to do with perfectionism, the main reason that I struggle with this is my health. I feel like I am always battling to stay healthy from day to day, and it affects my social life and willingness to be hospitable a LOT. Sometimes this means just having someone over is too much strain on my physical body and I pay for it for days. A lot of times, I worry about food, because no matter how much I intend to give without reciprocation, people often do anyway, and I can’t eat almost anything they give me, because I have such extreme sensitivities. I worry about food, too, because we have a tiny income and literally physically work for most of our food (grow it or do work trade), plus all of the effort that goes into preparing real food..it is so painful when it is wasted or under appreciated by people who don’t live the way we do. I don’t mean to be stingy, but it is SO hard to share sometimes! I don’t know why I am telling you all of this, but I would appreciate any insight.
Essie, I so appreciate your sweet heart. The Lord never calls us beyond our capability, so as much as you desire to be hospitable if you are struggling with your health, there are others ways you can serve others if having people over to your home is too much strain on your health right now. One great ministry is meal ministries which most churches have. I love doing this as I can simply cook a simple, frugal meal meal (like soup) and deliver it to a family who has just had a baby, has been in the hospital, etc. Another option is to simply have someone over for tea/coffee – that’s it. I do this often with the ladies in my small group. I tell them to just bring their bible and a smile. I just make some muffins and tea and we have a great time chatting – no stress and no mess and relatively little cost, since it’s just a batch of muffins (sometimes made the day or night beforehand). Just a couple of ideas since it sounds like your heart is aching to serve. What a sweet sister you are! Blessings, Kelly
Thank you for your sweet words and encouragement! I have been trying to think of other ways to be hospitable and helpful, and I guess it does not always have that be centered around food, even though that is what we usually think of first. I think there is beauty in breaking bread with people,. but as I mentioned before, with what a struggle it is for me sometimes to put real food into my own body and stay well, it is just so heartbreaking for me when it isn’t appreciated for what it truly is! In my heart I know we will always be provided for, and what I give will be replenished, and I need not be so afraid. I guess that’s what it is…fear? Why fear? Haven’t I always been taken care of?
So true! Love what you said, because being hospitable is about opening your home to others to spend time together, so it really doesn’t have to be complicated and simply serving a little tea or lemonade and sitting down to chat is really all that is necessary. And like you said, God will always provide for us. Blessings to you! 🙂